This is Mort Dork the Reporter, reporting!!! live! from somewhere on the planet...
This just in..Frosty the snowman is dead!!! yes, it became apparent today that Frosty's addiction to heat took a turn for the worse, when he was spotted purchasing 2 kerosene heaters at a Philadelphia Walmart. Witnesses to Frosty's rash behavior said he was waving his tree-arms around at customers and shouting, "This world is Cold, yo!" before tearing off his carrot nose and throwing it at an innocent poodle named Fluffystuffins, who he then battered with the carrot, before stomping out of the store. Poor Stuffins!!!!
Frosty, the lovable singing fat-bellied soprano of the famous Christmas song "Frosty the snowman" was found dead in his apartment by his landlord Hank, next to the kerosene heaters he purchased, with nothing left of him but a pile of slush...A note was found which read: "To my fans, the unbearable reality of my song only being played one season every year was too much, i love you, i will always be there with you when it snows....Deck the halls..."
RIP Frosty, we tip a forty to your beloved snowy memory!
Now on to more uplifting news, --Taliesin has informed me he will be releasing another installment of the Life of Taliesin very soon to YouTube, perhaps today, which will be titled...now get a load of this..."The Life of Taliesin -- episode 2" which is a HIGHLY original name, don't you think? i kid hahahahahaa. it's not the title, Taliesin fans, but the content therein that moves our hearts and has us wanting more. Tal also told me 'he will always remember Frosty with a warm affection'...no pun intended.
I asked Big Tal to give me a statement over the phone concerning his new release of wonders...his only words were "Live your dreams, y'all" which brought me to tears and had me dialing up my shrink after I hung up with Tal. I spoke with my shrink for 4 hours after that, crying and sipping beers and crying...the bill came to 230 dollars...I am broke, please send money now
Well just a short newscast today, homies...stay toasty, stay toasting, and be the toast of the town...or something. it's colder in Philly than a penguin's rump!!!
This is Mort, the Dork..signing off for now, stay tuned and...
Peace!!!
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